Top Five: Superheroes

I apologize to any fans I have (which I believe I can count on both hands) for depriving all of you of my opinions for so many months. I'm trying to get back in the swing of things, so let's hope this is the dawning of a new era.

Superheroes have made a resurgence in recent years, not that they really needed it. People love the concept of extraordinary humans (or other species) kicking ass and taking names in the name of justice. They've been profiled in comic books, cartoons, good movies ("X-Men," "Spider Man 1 & 2," "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: Secret Of The Ooze," "The Dark Knight"), bad movies ("X-Men 3," "Spider Man 3," "TMNT," "Batman & Robin"), novels, merchandise and basically any other form of entertainment you can imagine. Here are the five best.

1. X-Men (Created in 1963 by Stan Lee & Jack Kirby)
Okay, okay, the first one out of the box is not just one superhero. But choosing your favorite X-Men is like choosing your favorite child. The variety of people and powers is far vaster than any other concept. Wolverine, Gambit, Ice Man, Storm, Cyclops, Beast, Colossus, Angel, Beast, Nightcrawler, Rogue, Jean Grey, Professor X, and that’s just the heroes! The main reason the X-Men are so compelling is that until the moment they hit puberty, our heroes are simply normal people. This is the stuff that fuels the dreams of a pre-teen boy like I was. That, and the storylines are more complex and deeply rooted than your average mid-century American novel. The conflict within the X-Men is base on the civil rights movement of the ‘60s, with Professor X representing Martin Luther King, Jr. and his policy of peaceful coexistence, and Magneto as Malcolm X, hawking victory by any means necessary. The story quickly evolved beyond all that, but the core fun is still the same, even after all these years.

2. Spider Man (Created in 1962 by Stan Lee & Mike Ditko)
Bitten by a radioactive spider, Peter Parker became Spider Man early in his life. And continued to KICK ASS for the rest of his life. Spider Man was really one of the first superheroes to bring deep-seeded emotions into its characters. The entire reason Parker chose to fight crime was the death of his uncle at the hands of a criminal (but you’ve all seen the movies). And then you get villains that simply cannot be topped. Venom, perhaps the most exciting villain due to his extreme parity with Spider Man’s powers, is only the tip of the iceberg. Dr. Octopus, Kraven the Hunter, Mysterio, Hobgoblin, Vulture, The Lizard, Sand Man, and the Green Goblin help to round out the crew doing battle with the Webbed One. But in the end, the ability to climb walls, shoot webs and have superior senses puts Spider Man in the upper echelons of heroes.

3. Batman (Created in 1939 by Bob Kane & Bill Finger)
The absolutely best thing about Batman is his total lack of superpowers. The entire basis of Batman’s superhero-ness is his utter discipline and self-restraint. The death of Bruce Wayne’s parents early in his life led him to vow to fight crime no matter where it hid. Little did he know that his vow would require battling psychotics (The Joker, Scarecrow, Two Face, The Riddler, Penguin, Catwoman, etc.) and taking on sidekicks that, while being helpful overall, die just a little too easily (Robin). Batman is also, without a doubt, the darkest, most brooding hero of all time. Despite all the gadgets and flash and show, what Batman comes down to is one man standing against many, and standing alone.

4. Space Ghost (Created in 1966 by Alex Toth)
Yes, he’s an idiot. Or perhaps he’s just your average hero. All that depends on which series you base your view of Space Ghost. Originally a cartoon in the mid-1960s, Space Ghost flies around space, using his power bands to either blow things up, turn invisible or do whatever else the creators needed him to do. However, in the ‘90s Space Ghost got his own talk show, and all hell broke loose. He still had the superpowers, but it seemed like his brain had been removed. Joined by ex-enemies Brak, Zorak and Moltar, Space Ghost interviewed actual people and raised some general hell. In the end, he just wants to be loved, and he’s doing it the only way he knows how. And who doesn't love that?

5. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Created in 1984 by Kevin Eastman & Peter Laird)
Some people will maintain that the TMNT are not actually superheroes. But, I ask, what are they then? I stand by the fact that Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael and Michelangelo are better heroes than a lot of other cats out there. The concept seems to have been derived by some person who was ridiculously high one night, came up with the idea for the show and for some odd reason stuck with it when they were sober the next day. In the end, the Turtles are the most fun-loving, easygoing superheroes in the known universe. That doesn’t mean they don’t kick some major butt. Each one of them is well trained by Splinter the Rat in the art of ninja, and they aren’t afraid to lay some serious hurt down on the evil Shredder. They do so often, and that makes for some quality entertainment.