Walt Disney, and his animation studio, has created over 40 films* since it’s inception in 1937. Most are recognized as truly visionary and amazing animated films. But, to me, five stand out as the greatest. Read on.
*This does not include Pixar. Those films, while owned by Disney, are not part of the accepted Disney animated feature film canon.
1. “The Jungle Book” (1967)
Based on a collection of Rudyard Kipling stories, “The Jungle Book” is one of the most visually satisfying Disney films. A young Mowgli attempts to reach manhood while being raised at various times by a pack of wolves, a patrol of elephants, a panther named Bagheera and a bear named Baloo. He does battle with the truly frightening tiger named Shere Khan, and, in the end, is wooed by a young girl into moving into the local village. But by far the best part of the film is King Louie (voiced by Louis Prima), the king of the monkeys, singing along with Baloo (Phil Harris) about being a man. This scene is simultaneously surreal and spellbinding, as is the rest of the film. Fun fact: this is the last Disney film made before Walt’s death.
2. “Robin Hood” (1973)
Perhaps I love this and the previous movie so much because of the vocal talents of Phil Harris. This time he’s Little John (also a bear), the sidekick to Robin Hood, a fox in this telling of the story. All the classic elements of the Robin Hood story are included, but the music is straight-up 1973. Country singer Roger Miller plays the whistling rooster who serves as the narrator, thus allowing the greatest whistling rooster song of all time to be the opening credits of the film. And the pseudo-homosexual, love-hate relationship between Prince John (a lion) and Sir Hiss (a snake) is truly hilarious for both kids and adults (albeit for two very different reasons).
3. “Aladdin” (1992)
The love story between a street-rat named Aladdin and a princess named Jasmine is reasonably good, but what makes this film fantastic is the supporting cast. Jafar is a nasty villain that you absolutely love to hate. The sentient Magic Carpet and the monkey Abu are the best non-speaking sidekicks in animation. But where Disney scored is by getting comedians Gilbert Gottfried and Robin Williams to play Iago the parrot and the Genie, respectively. Iago is wonderfully wicked, and smack-talks virtually every person he comes across in a way only the crazy-voiced Gottfried can. And Williams’ over-the-top performance as the Genie has become a true staple both in the Disney world and cinema in general.
4. “The Lion King” (1994)
This film is significant if only because it is the first Disney movie to not be directly based on previously written material. It does, however, draw plot elements from such classics as the Joseph story of the Bible, and William Shakespeare’s Hamlet. Featuring an ensemble cast that cannot possibly be topped, the story is profound, the music is fantastic (who’s better than Elton John?), and the visuals are astounding. This is a tale of epic proportions, and its vast setting and sprawling scope only heighten the entire experience. If given the chance, enjoy “The Lion King” in IMAX. It will change the way you think about animated films.
5. “Beauty And The Beast” (1991)
This is the first and only animated Disney film to be nominated for the Oscar for Best Picture, with good reason. Not only is the story a wonderful retelling of a classic tale, the animation is stunning in its use of 3D technology. The classic scene when Belle and the Beast dance in the ballroom is as visually astounding as anything filmed made with actual people. The songs are touching, and the supporting cast of living, breathing household objects is quite funny. And this particular film will always have a special significance to me: it was the first movie I ever saw in theaters.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Top Five Horrible Songs That Were (For Some God-Forsaken Reason) Extremely Popular
I love music. But I cannot possibly understand why some of the music that exists either was or is popular. There’s some great stuff out there, but there’s also some total crap. This list is just the cream of the crap; a bottom five, if you will. They’re listed in chronological order of release.
1. “Good Morning Starshine” by Oliver
Released in 1969, this winner of a track made it all the way up to the number ten spot of the most popular singles for that year. If you ever wanted evidence that drugs do horrible things to your mind, look no further. Featuring lyrics like “Gliddy glub gloopy/Nibby nabby noopy/La la la lo lo/Sabba sibby sabba/Nooby abba nabba/Le le lo lo/Tooby ooby walla/Nooby abba naba/Early morning singing song,” the song almost makes you feel like an acid freak. The melody is junk, and the lead singer’s voice (presumably Oliver himself) is cheesy to a degree that puts Paul Anka to shame. And guess what? Your parents probably know all the words.
2. “You Light Up My Life” by Debby Boone
This song has been covered by everyone from Patti Smith to Robert Goulet. But it took Pat Boone’s daughter to really destroy our eardrums. Originally written as a love ballad, Boone turned the song into a declaration of her faith in God. Either way, it’s a piece of crap. The track is far too sappy to be taken seriously, and it feels brutally long at a mere three-and-a-half minutes. Here’s the kicker: it won an Academy Award for Best Original Song of 1977. I’m fairly certain that even the Academy is still scratching their heads on how they let this one slide through.
3. “Achy Breaky Heart” by Billy Ray Cyrus
The song that made the mullet legitimate for guys who didn’t play hockey. Billy Ray Cyrus punished our ears for an excruciating three minutes, twenty-three seconds, and America lost it. “Achy Breaky Heart” shot up to number 4 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 1992, thus ensuring that Mr. Cyrus would never have to work again. Line dancing swept the nation, and everyone thought they were cowboys. But no one seemed to notice that the lyrics were idiotic on a level that seemed unimaginable, the tune was summoned from the worst dregs of country music, and line dancing is a ridiculous human ritual. Not surprisingly, Cyrus didn’t have another hit after this because the American public smacked its collective forehead and refused to accept any more crap from him.
4. “Believe” by Cher
How many times has Cher given a farewell tour? Too many times, that’s how many. Ever since Sonny Bono died, Cher’s musical quality has been in the toilet. But when “Believe” was released in 1999, the world lost it. Because of this song, Cher is one of the best selling solo female artists of all time, but I’m sorry that this will be her legacy. God knows why, but it took six people to write this song. It’s techno! Moby can create an entire masterpiece with only his brain and a Mac, but to create trash like this, you need a small army. The instrumentation is nothing but annoying, and Cher seems to have lost all singing ability. To hear this song in a club is to know death.
5. “London Bridge” by Fergie
Ah yes. Fergie. Do the Black Eyed Peas really need her? Perhaps not, because she definitely doesn’t need them. Her solo album has been immensely successful, and the singles from it are still maintaining a stranglehold on the charts. But the masses are easily misled. What the general public sees as an insanely danceable track is actually one of the dirtiest songs ever written. Unfortunately, Fergie forgot the key element of writing dirty songs: make sure the innuendo you use is common knowledge. Instead, “London Bridge” is a mish-mash of lyrics that make absolutely no sense and a backing track that could have been made by a five year old with a drum kit. The bad news is, due to the financial success, this won’t be the last of songs along the same lines. God have mercy on us all.
1. “Good Morning Starshine” by Oliver
Released in 1969, this winner of a track made it all the way up to the number ten spot of the most popular singles for that year. If you ever wanted evidence that drugs do horrible things to your mind, look no further. Featuring lyrics like “Gliddy glub gloopy/Nibby nabby noopy/La la la lo lo/Sabba sibby sabba/Nooby abba nabba/Le le lo lo/Tooby ooby walla/Nooby abba naba/Early morning singing song,” the song almost makes you feel like an acid freak. The melody is junk, and the lead singer’s voice (presumably Oliver himself) is cheesy to a degree that puts Paul Anka to shame. And guess what? Your parents probably know all the words.
2. “You Light Up My Life” by Debby Boone
This song has been covered by everyone from Patti Smith to Robert Goulet. But it took Pat Boone’s daughter to really destroy our eardrums. Originally written as a love ballad, Boone turned the song into a declaration of her faith in God. Either way, it’s a piece of crap. The track is far too sappy to be taken seriously, and it feels brutally long at a mere three-and-a-half minutes. Here’s the kicker: it won an Academy Award for Best Original Song of 1977. I’m fairly certain that even the Academy is still scratching their heads on how they let this one slide through.
3. “Achy Breaky Heart” by Billy Ray Cyrus
The song that made the mullet legitimate for guys who didn’t play hockey. Billy Ray Cyrus punished our ears for an excruciating three minutes, twenty-three seconds, and America lost it. “Achy Breaky Heart” shot up to number 4 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 1992, thus ensuring that Mr. Cyrus would never have to work again. Line dancing swept the nation, and everyone thought they were cowboys. But no one seemed to notice that the lyrics were idiotic on a level that seemed unimaginable, the tune was summoned from the worst dregs of country music, and line dancing is a ridiculous human ritual. Not surprisingly, Cyrus didn’t have another hit after this because the American public smacked its collective forehead and refused to accept any more crap from him.
4. “Believe” by Cher
How many times has Cher given a farewell tour? Too many times, that’s how many. Ever since Sonny Bono died, Cher’s musical quality has been in the toilet. But when “Believe” was released in 1999, the world lost it. Because of this song, Cher is one of the best selling solo female artists of all time, but I’m sorry that this will be her legacy. God knows why, but it took six people to write this song. It’s techno! Moby can create an entire masterpiece with only his brain and a Mac, but to create trash like this, you need a small army. The instrumentation is nothing but annoying, and Cher seems to have lost all singing ability. To hear this song in a club is to know death.
5. “London Bridge” by Fergie
Ah yes. Fergie. Do the Black Eyed Peas really need her? Perhaps not, because she definitely doesn’t need them. Her solo album has been immensely successful, and the singles from it are still maintaining a stranglehold on the charts. But the masses are easily misled. What the general public sees as an insanely danceable track is actually one of the dirtiest songs ever written. Unfortunately, Fergie forgot the key element of writing dirty songs: make sure the innuendo you use is common knowledge. Instead, “London Bridge” is a mish-mash of lyrics that make absolutely no sense and a backing track that could have been made by a five year old with a drum kit. The bad news is, due to the financial success, this won’t be the last of songs along the same lines. God have mercy on us all.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Top Five Movies of 2007
1. "No Country For Old Men"
The Cohen brothers have once again struck gold with their take on Cormac McCarthy’s 2005 novel about the aftermath of a drug deal gone very, very wrong. Josh Brolin proves himself as the red-hot actor we all knew he was as Llewelyn Moss, the man who finds the $2 million with the drugs and bodies. Javier Bardem is the psychopathic Anton Chigurh who will stop at nothing to kill Moss and get the money back. A supporting cast of Woody Harrelson, Tommy Lee Jones and Kelly Macdonald ties the story into a perfect package. Featuring almost no score or music of any kind, “No Country For Old Men” is intense, bloody and very very dark. In short, it is the best movie of the year.
2. "Once"
A simple plot: boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy and girl make beautiful music together. Taking place on the streets of Dublin, “Once” is beautiful in its simplicity. Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova not only play the leads, but they wrote and performed all the songs in the film. The songs they perform shine through their shy exteriors like a beacon. The guitar and piano melodies alongside deeply personal lyrics provide far more depth to the film than any dialogue ever could. A beauty of a film.
3. "Superbad"
Every once in a while, a movie comes along that works better than all others. “Superbad” is perhaps the best movie about life as a senior in high school since John Hughes owned the genre in the late ‘80s. It is incredibly profane while simultaneously heartwarming, an effect that seems to come standard for any film out of the Judd Apatow Machine. Jonah Hill and Michael Cera also win the award for best on-screen couple of 2007, proving that even when you’re searching for sex, nothing can replace true love (even if it’s between two guys).
4. "The Darjeeling Limited"
There was not a single person who was surprised at the quality of this movie. Director Wes Anderson has already established himself with such greats as “Rushmore” and “The Royal Tenenbaums,” and “The Darjeeling Limited” is yet another smash hit. Brothers Owen Wilson, Jason Schwartzman and Adrien Brody make the train trip across India in an attempt to reconnect with each other after they haven’t spoken for a year. The ensuing story is both hilarious and a tear-jerker. Also, short film “Hotel Chevalier” serves as a sort of prequel, and may be one of the best live-action shorts in recent memory.
5. "Juno"
Of the movies that were released at the end of 2007, “Juno” stood alone as the true great. Equal parts “Knocked Up” and “Little Miss Sunshine,” it tells of 16-year-old Juno and her pregnancy. Ellen Page is our leading lady, and her combination of innocence and maturity is of the caliber of actresses twice her age. Jason Bateman and Jennifer Garner are spectacular as the uber-yuppie couple who are set to adopt Juno’s baby, and Michael Cera (the only actor to appear twice on this list) is perfect as the boy who gets her pregnant. It’s sweet, smart and beautifully done.
The Cohen brothers have once again struck gold with their take on Cormac McCarthy’s 2005 novel about the aftermath of a drug deal gone very, very wrong. Josh Brolin proves himself as the red-hot actor we all knew he was as Llewelyn Moss, the man who finds the $2 million with the drugs and bodies. Javier Bardem is the psychopathic Anton Chigurh who will stop at nothing to kill Moss and get the money back. A supporting cast of Woody Harrelson, Tommy Lee Jones and Kelly Macdonald ties the story into a perfect package. Featuring almost no score or music of any kind, “No Country For Old Men” is intense, bloody and very very dark. In short, it is the best movie of the year.
2. "Once"
A simple plot: boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy and girl make beautiful music together. Taking place on the streets of Dublin, “Once” is beautiful in its simplicity. Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova not only play the leads, but they wrote and performed all the songs in the film. The songs they perform shine through their shy exteriors like a beacon. The guitar and piano melodies alongside deeply personal lyrics provide far more depth to the film than any dialogue ever could. A beauty of a film.
3. "Superbad"
Every once in a while, a movie comes along that works better than all others. “Superbad” is perhaps the best movie about life as a senior in high school since John Hughes owned the genre in the late ‘80s. It is incredibly profane while simultaneously heartwarming, an effect that seems to come standard for any film out of the Judd Apatow Machine. Jonah Hill and Michael Cera also win the award for best on-screen couple of 2007, proving that even when you’re searching for sex, nothing can replace true love (even if it’s between two guys).
4. "The Darjeeling Limited"
There was not a single person who was surprised at the quality of this movie. Director Wes Anderson has already established himself with such greats as “Rushmore” and “The Royal Tenenbaums,” and “The Darjeeling Limited” is yet another smash hit. Brothers Owen Wilson, Jason Schwartzman and Adrien Brody make the train trip across India in an attempt to reconnect with each other after they haven’t spoken for a year. The ensuing story is both hilarious and a tear-jerker. Also, short film “Hotel Chevalier” serves as a sort of prequel, and may be one of the best live-action shorts in recent memory.
5. "Juno"
Of the movies that were released at the end of 2007, “Juno” stood alone as the true great. Equal parts “Knocked Up” and “Little Miss Sunshine,” it tells of 16-year-old Juno and her pregnancy. Ellen Page is our leading lady, and her combination of innocence and maturity is of the caliber of actresses twice her age. Jason Bateman and Jennifer Garner are spectacular as the uber-yuppie couple who are set to adopt Juno’s baby, and Michael Cera (the only actor to appear twice on this list) is perfect as the boy who gets her pregnant. It’s sweet, smart and beautifully done.
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